Thursday, August 21, 2008

A fruitful two days

Today is my last day off, got to book back in tomorrow. Well, I guess these two days off have been rather fruitful. I'm just thankful for these past two days.

Yesterday, I managed to spend some time with my princess. We went to Parkway Parade and ate Swensens. Well, I'm glad I could meet up with her and spend some time with her. I must say that I'm so thankful for how He has blessed us and preserve us. We've been together for almost 15 months and I'm delighted to be together with her.

The past two weeks of confinement wasn't easy. I couldn't meet her and only managed to squeeze some time out to talk to her daily. That's why I'm so happy to be able to meet her after a long absence. Well, they say absence makes the heart fonder. I'm growing in love for her and I want us to be a couple for Christ.

It ain't going to be easy. It will be a battle against flesh and the world. It will be a challenge to walk righteously. It will not be easy choosing the right path and high road. But I believe that as long as God is in the center of our lives and relationship, He will lead us along.

Today, I was reading a book entitled 'every man, God's man' and it has been an insightful experience for me thus far. One thing that stuck me a lot and I would like to share this. It's a story by Kenny Luck, one of the co-author of the book.

When I became a Christian in 1982, I found it relatively easy to put together the appearance of a committed follower of Christ. My days as a navy brat and my adolescent focus on appearances had taught me how to build a new image. In my high-school yearbook, there is a picture of me holding a bear mug, wearing lampshade for a hat, and sporting a Groucho Marx nose-and-glasses disguise. The inscription underneath reads: Life of the Party - Kenny Luck. That was me, all right, but the caption should have read: Best Actor Award - Kenny Luck. You see, I was acting my buns off to get to the top 0f the 'Most Liked' list. I learned that if I could make people laugh, they would like me - at least for a little while.

I've since learned that all men are good at creating and building images. Our single-minded, task-oriented, emotionally compartmentalized, super-competitive, cause-and-effect, problem-solution handwriting makes is almost inescapable. We really believe ourselves when we say 'I can do that'. We find it easy to utilize the necessary appearances, props, equipment, accessories, and images so that we can project our act to the viewing audience.

Intuitive observation of how other Christians acted brought me the messages that I needed to read the Bible when I became a believer of Christ - and lots and lots of pages. Most importantly, I had to be able to quote it.

Besides reading a heavy concordance version of the Bible, I had to go to church a lot because that was where the action was and where 'good Christians' needed to be. Speaking of action, Christian service also was critical to the whole package. Evangelism and 'where you spend your vacation in the mission field' rated high on the charts in these circles.

I found the Christian fast track in no time. I became deeply involved with a Bible study group and joined an organisation whose mission statement included helping fulfill the Great Commission. It wasn't long before I decided to reach for the next level by attending Fuller Theological Seminary, and subsequent retreats and conferences drew me closer to going overseas to 'serve' God. I joined a mission agency full-time, married a beautiful Christian woman, connected with and befriended other Christian couples, and began raising three kids to follow in their dad's footsteps.

Well into my Christian fast track, however, certain character flaws and inner conflicts kept this question begging in my subconscious: Why aren't you changing for the better? I still had so many faults. In many areas of my life I saw little progress, which caused me to feel like the fool described in Proverbs: 'As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly' (Proverbs 26:11, NLT)

For most men - especially me - assembling an appearance comes naturally. It's much tougher, however, to put together a character that performs well under pressure. Sure, back in the summer of 1982, God forgave me, accepted me, and delivered me from an eternity separated from Him. But He did not deliver me from my character. The fatal mental mistake that I made back then - and that countless Christian men make today - was figuring that my conversion fundamentally changed my character traits (who I was and how I would react under pressure) at the same time that I accepted Christ into my life.

Once a man has given his life to Christ, God's aim is not to make him comfortable with the character and mannerisms that were ingrained into his psyche prior to becoming a member of the team. In fact, God's plan is for His Holy Spirit to bring about the necessary changes (although for stubborn characters and certain behaviour patterns, His method of choice is to allow delays and difficulties to enter our lives). Character is curved out rather than instantly created.

Take the story of Justin, who 'went Christian' to his friends' amazement. A lot was going on in his life, including an insatiable capacity for alcohol, which led to a room reservation at a rehab facility. Later, he and a friend drove from Arizona to California in a bold move that eventually led to Justin's conversion. The sense of a fresh start enthralled Justin almost as much as the emotional thrill of dropping in on Trestles Beach, where he loved to surf. No longer was he getting high on crack; now he was high on Christ. What could go wrong now? He had sobriety, a newfound hope in Christ, new friends, and a church based recovery program that would help him toe the line. Justin felt like a new man. He was married, had kids - life was pretty good.

Let's fast forward to one year later. Justin was still sober, but many of the attitudes, habits, and temptations that he had developed before he committed his life to Christ still hounded him. He thought that these flaws, along with his sins, had been washed away because now he could 'do all things through Christ who strengthened him'. Now Justin was disillusioned by his inability to overcome his temper with his wife and kids. His flaws reminded him of a bad cut that wouldn't heal.

Justin reminds me of myself. Like so many men I know, I often have unrealistic expectations when it comes to personal change. We would love a twofer or threefer - solving multiple problems and issues with one big decision. But God's deal goes like this: 'Reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground' (Hosea 10:12). To God, our lives are like fields that need to be worked. Once we have worked one field of change, we move on to the next plot, where He bids us to get back to work other character flaws by tilling weed-infested soil. Sometimes this takes more time than we'd like, but we have to keep driving that tractor back and forth across the fertile earth.

As history has shown, God will give a man a desert experience to prepare him for the future. Such a desert experience happened to my brother Chris. I'll never forget the late-night phone call from a frantic lady in Arizona, who screamed, 'Come get your brother off my porch'. In other words, she wanted him out of her life because my brother was a druggie and a drinker who changed girlfriends as often as he changed T-shirts.

Chris was a messed-up guy with big muscles and a small brain, or so we thought. My family had written him off as an unreachable jerk, his own worst enemy. When I received the phone call from Arizona, Chris was using and out of control, so I helped get him admitted to a Teen challenge program in Santa Cruz, California.

Then a miracle happened. After only two weeks Chris gave his life to Christ ... and the character curving began. One year later, Chris graduated from the program and joined the staff as an intern. Within two years he went to full time and was promoted to floor director and then to center supervisor. It wasn't long before Chris's leadership skills earned him a promotion to associate director and then to director of the center. He was helping hundreds upon hundreds of men turn their lives around.

Chris devoted five years to learning, listening, and serving others. Seeing the changes God has brought into his life, a Teen Challenge board member asked Chris to bring his talents to his small company. Chris accepted and rose through the ranks to chief operating officer in only four years. After the business was sold, he became a managing partner in a financial services company that bears his name. He is my living, breathing example of what God can do in carving out a man's character.

God hasn't changed His methods of His focus when it comes to accomplishing His purposes in the lives of men. Nor has he shown that He is any less concerned with our comfort than He is with our character. God understands that the conduct of a man will never outperform the content of His character, because conduct is an expression of character. One precedes the other. Or, viewed another way, if we want change, we need character to pull it off. God made us and knows us. He designed the mainframe, the software, and the applications.

I want to be a man who is authentic, a man who is real in my walk with God, a man who walks uprightly and stands firmly on the Word of God, a man who lives humbly and is willing to let God enter my life and changed it all the way around.

It's going to take time but it's worth it.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

After two weeks

I'm back after two weeks in camp. Well, I must say that these two weeks have been physically and mentally challenging, but now that it is over, I'm so thankful. Well, I'm thankful for my posting. The people are good, the shift is good as well. I hope things will remain this way.

However, I'm so afraid I will fall spiritually. I don't know how I'm going to stand up against the giants of sin and flesh. In a place saturated with sin, I'm afraid I will fall. I don't know if I have the courage to stand strong in my faith.

I know myself, I am weak. I'm so afraid that in a moment of weakness, I will fall into sin and lose my Christian witness. I'm fearful that in a moment of folly, I will be trapped by sin.

I'm bombarded by sinful and wicked things that corrupt my ears and eyes. I'm so afraid that because I keep seeing and hearing them over and over again, that I will grow immune to them and start to accept sins into my life.

There's a saying that goes, 'Give Satan an inch and he will become the ruler of your life.' What if I give him an inch in my life? Will he rule and control my life?

Lord, I need You. I can't take my mind of You one second. Lord, help me focus on You.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Lessons of life


Well, I'm going to stay in camp for two weeks. I'm so going to miss the people around me. Well, I know it's not going to be easy but I'm going to depend on God's strength during this two weeks.

Today, when I heard that we got to stay in two weeks, I was quite discouraged and started complaining and whining. It was so discouraging and I was doing it in my own strength. I didn't really trusted in God to lead and guide me. I based my actions on my own feelings instead of faith in God.

Well, after a long day of murmuring and gumbling, I've come to realised that our God can be trusted. And during this two weeks, I want to draw closer to Him. I want to find my all-sufficiency in Him alone. Though I will be tempted to complain and murmur, but I'll walk in the Spirit and not fulfill the lust of the flesh.

Another I learnt today was to be contented. As I hear of some other people posting, I got envious and discontented and started to compare and complain. Yet, God had to hold me by my hand and tell me to stop, to be contented.

I remember a quote I read some time back.

"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you do not have, but it is the realisation of how much you already have."

Also, as I was taking a cab home today and I was speaking to the taxi driver. He really was such a blessing to me. Just hearing him being so positive about everything just amazes me. Most people I talk to would complain about how tough is it to be a taxi driver, the rental and oil prices, etc. But this guy was a person who understood contentment.

I didn't hear him utter a word of complain during our whole conversation. He was satisfied with driving a cab, just thankful that he could make a living and that he can earn enough each month. Then, he was contented with the government. So many people I hear only knows how to talk bad and doubt the government, but this guy realised that it is not easy to be the government and he is just so contented.

I guess, we all really should learn how to be contented with what we got. By asking for too much, we may be missing out and overlooking the things and people that are important to us.

I'll like to share a short story with all.

Philip Parham tells the story of a rich industrialist who was disturbed to find a fisherman sitting lazily beside his boat. "Why aren't you out there fishing?" he asked.

"Because I've caught enough fish for today," said the fisherman. "Why don't you catch more fish than you need?' the rich man asked. "What would I do with them?"

"You could earn more money," came the impatient reply, "and buy a better boat so you could go deeper and catch more fish. You could purchase nylon nets, catch even more fish, and make more money. Soon you'd have a fleet of boats and be rich like me."

The fisherman asked, "Then what would I do?" "You could sit down and enjoy life," said the industrialist. "What do you think I'm doing now?" the fisherman replied as he looked placidly out to sea.

Monday, August 4, 2008

The harvest truly is plentous


The Great Commandment
Matthew 22:37-40
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

The Great Commission
Matthew 28:18-20
And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

Been attending the Blueprint course for the past few weeks and it has been a huge blessing to me in many ways. Though it is simple, yet it's the simplicity that speaks to me. It's the Word of God made easy to understand that I'm able to absorb the deep truths in the Bible.

Just last Saturday, one thought stuck me from the course.

The Great Commission is really the supreme fulfillment of the Great Commandment. We obey it because we love God and love man.

The moment we lose our fire for evangelism, we have lost the reason for our existence. Often times, the first sign of a declining church is when the passion for souls decline. Often the first sign of a declining Christian is when the passion for souls decline.

I have lost that fire. I have lost that passion. My heart have been hardened to the cries of all the people around me.

I was so encouraged when someone dear to me shared something with me.

These few days have been really busy but good. Yesterday, I went to street e and was paired up with Marcus. I've just known him for a short time but it was such a blessing to see his faith and watch him witness to complete strangers and it really encouraged me. I dunno, I've been to street e heaps of times before but somehow yesterday was different and I was really touched by it. It just amazes me, seeing his ability to interact with so many people who are complete strangers from such different backgrounds and I guess that gave me more courage and just made me rethink evangelism and has encouraged me in a huge way.

I don't know if you remember that night. I didn't think about it until I read that entry and it all came back to me. That was the night that I first got to know you properly and we went to Long John Silver for dinner (well, I was the only one eating cos you already had dinner) and when I was paired up with you I was thinking "oh no" cos I hardly knew you at all and didn't know how it would turn out. But I thank God for the way things did. That night you spoke to a man (I think he was Filipino) and you shared with him Acts 8, about Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch. I still remember that night clearly. I was so encouraged by you and your passion for souls, your courage and your love for souls.

I guess I just wanted to remind you of that to encourage you. God has given you a gift Marcus, of being able to speak to anyone and even large groups of people and not everyone has that gift. He's used you in mighty ways for His glory before and He can do it again. He wants to use you, if you just let Him.

If I can be used by God in the past, I can be used by Him again. I want to be winning souls once again. I want to have a passion and fire for the lost around me. I want to be able to share the good news with those around me. I don't want to be ashamed of the gospel.

Use me once again...

I'll end with this story.

The following article is based on a sermon by missionary Del Tarr who served fourteen years in West Africa with another mission agency. His story points out the price some people pay to sow the seed of the gospel in hard soil.

I was always perplexed by Psalm 126 until I went to the Sahel, that vast stretch of savanna more than four thousand miles wide just under the Sahara Desert. In the Sahel, all the moisture comes in a four month period: May, June, July, and August. After that, not a drop of rain falls for eight months. The ground cracks from dryness, and so do your hands and feet. The winds of the Sahara pick up the dust and throw it thousands of feet into the air. It then comes slowly drifting across West Africa as a fine grit. It gets inside your mouth. It gets inside your watch and stops it. The year's food, of course, must all be grown in those four months. People grow sorghum or milo in small fields.

October and November...these are beautiful months. The granaries are full -- the harvest has come. People sing and dance. They eat two meals a day. The sorghum is ground between two stones to make flour and then a mush with the consistency of yesterday's Cream of Wheat. The sticky mush is eaten hot; they roll it into little balls between their fingers, drop it into a bit of sauce and then pop it into their mouths. The meal lies heavy on their stomachs so they can sleep.
December comes, and the granaries start to recede. Many families omit the morning meal.

Certainly by January not one family in fifty is still eating two meals a day.

By February, the evening meal diminishes.

The meal shrinks even more during March and children succumb to sickness. You don't stay well on half a meal a day.

April is the month that haunts my memory. In it you hear the babies crying in the twilight. Most of the days are passed with only an evening cup of gruel.

Then, inevitably, it happens. A six-or seven-year-old boy comes running to his father one day with sudden excitement. "Daddy! Daddy! We've got grain!" he shouts. "Son, you know we haven't had grain for weeks." "Yes, we have!" the boy insists. "Out in the hut where we keep the goats -- there's a leather sack hanging up on the wall -- I reached up and put my hand down in there -- Daddy, there's grain in there! Give it to Mommy so she can make flour, and tonight our tummies can sleep!"

The father stands motionless. "Son, we can't do that," he softly explains. "That's next year's seed grain. It's the only thing between us and starvation. We're waiting for the rains, and then we must use it." The rains finally arrive in May, and when they do the young boy watches as his father takes the sack from the wall and does the most unreasonable thing imaginable. Instead of feeding his desperately weakened family, he goes to the field and with tears streaming down his face, he takes the precious seed and throws it away. He scatters it in the dirt! Why? Because he believes in the harvest (Italics added).

The seed is his; he owns it. He can do anything with it he wants. The act of sowing it hurts so much that he cries. But as the African pastors say when they preach on Psalm 126, "Brother and sisters, this is God's law of the harvest. Don't expect to rejoice later on unless you have been willing to sow in tears." And I want to ask you: How much would it cost you to sow in tears? I don't mean just giving God something from your abundance, but finding a way to say, "I believe in the harvest, and therefore I will give what makes no sense. The world would call me unreasonable to do this -- but I must sow regardless, in order that I may someday celebrate with songs of joy."


Psalm 126:5-6
They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.

A long and bumpy ride


It's been a long long ride. I've gone up and down. I tried to do it in my own strength, but I failed miserably. It's time to depend on Him again to lift me up and to soar with wings as eagles.

Every day, it seems like there are troubles and problems, challenges and struggles. There seems to be giants all around me, taunting me, and waiting till I fall. It's like I'm surrounded by mountains, so high and steep that I cannot overcome it.

Sometimes it's my own sins and struggles. At times, it's the people around me. I get affected whenever something concerns me or someone important to me.

Have I been depending on my own self? Am I insecure? Can I find strength once again in the Lord?

As I think back, so many things have happened and it's like I have drifted far away from my Saviour and have been doing much things in my own strength. I guess the only way to come back to God is once again to depend and trust Him.

I'm going to walk by faith and trust that God will work in my life.

Whatever the circumstances may be

A Saviour, a Comforter
He's always there for me
He brought me out of darkness
and caused the blind to see
Heavenly Father,
take control of me
For whatever the circumstance may be,
I'll love Him, and I know He loves me

Chorus:
So we'll lift up our voice
and sing unto our King
We are weak, He is strong
in His arms, we belong
So we'll lift up our hearts
and rejoice unto our King
He is worthy, He is mighty
He can do anything for me

A sacrificial Lamb
He died for me
He laid His life on the cross
to rid us of our sins
When trials clouts our lives
and nothing seems right
But whatever the circumstance may be
I'll love Him, and I know He loves me

Whatever happens, I'm going to praise You. Whatever happens, I'm going to love You.

I want to be a shining light for Jesus... God, help me.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Back to blogging


It's been a while since I just post on this blog. Well, I guess maybe things been rather busy and stuff and also with most of my time spent in camp, I hardly have time to stop and blog. Well, now that I'm still waiting for my posting and I have more free time. I guess it will be a good idea to start blogging. I just need some time to quieten down and think about stuff and write it down.

You know, I've been thinking...

How long does it take before I lose the ability to influence a particular person?

One year? It almost seem like it.

A year ago, I had a wonderful opportunity to see lives changed and grow. Now, I hardly am able to.

Yes, we still say hi and bye, but there's almost like a little gap between us.

Only some have remained. Only some have continued to be merely more than hi and bye.

Is it time to say 'All the best and I wish you well for the path ahead'?

I can't bear to leave each one. Well, but I guess people grow and move on. Maybe God has a greater plan for each of them. Maybe I'm no longer the person I used to be. Maybe I have drifted away from my Saviour.

To those who are merely more than hi or bye, I really appreciate you.

I want to be a new creation. I want to be filled with the Spirit of God. I want to shine for Jesus in every area of my life.

I'm weak...

WWJD

Friday, August 1, 2008

Uth Worship - Preaching


Today's message was powerful! It spoke to me. I thank God for using His words to speak to my harden and proud heart.

1 Corinthians 2:4-5
And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

This two verses really serve as a STRONG REMINDER to myself that my preaching must not be in the flesh, in my own eloquence, in my own strength or ability, but by the power of the Holy Spirit in my life.

So often, I like to depend on myself rather than God to preach. I like to think that I can do it in my own strength. I can prepare by myself. I can preach and it's not a problem because I have done it before.
But this is a wake up call that even Paul acknowledge his weakness and inability, who am I that I should be better than this great man of God.

May God give me a humble and teachable heart.
May I be depending upon God to help me share the Word.