Talking Turkey - Humor

This morning we want to talk about food. That's a relevant subject for most of us.

The two biggest sellers in any bookstore, according to Andy Rooney, are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it.

Orson Welles once said, "My doctor has advised me to give up those intimate little dinners for four, unless, of course, there are three other people eating with me."

Champion archer Rick McKinney confesses that he regularly eats chocolate chip cookies for breakfast. He refers to "the basic four food groups" as a Big Mac, fries, a shake and a lemon tart. A California scientist has computed that the average human being eats 16 times his or her own weight in an average year, while a horse eats only eight times its weight. This all seems to prove that if you want to lose weight, you should eat like a horse.

A young fellow watched as his dad finished a heavy meal and then loosened his belt. "Look, Mom," he said. "Pop's just moved his decimal point over two places."

King Duncan, Collected Sermons, www.Sermons.com