Thursday, August 21, 2008

A fruitful two days

Today is my last day off, got to book back in tomorrow. Well, I guess these two days off have been rather fruitful. I'm just thankful for these past two days.

Yesterday, I managed to spend some time with my princess. We went to Parkway Parade and ate Swensens. Well, I'm glad I could meet up with her and spend some time with her. I must say that I'm so thankful for how He has blessed us and preserve us. We've been together for almost 15 months and I'm delighted to be together with her.

The past two weeks of confinement wasn't easy. I couldn't meet her and only managed to squeeze some time out to talk to her daily. That's why I'm so happy to be able to meet her after a long absence. Well, they say absence makes the heart fonder. I'm growing in love for her and I want us to be a couple for Christ.

It ain't going to be easy. It will be a battle against flesh and the world. It will be a challenge to walk righteously. It will not be easy choosing the right path and high road. But I believe that as long as God is in the center of our lives and relationship, He will lead us along.

Today, I was reading a book entitled 'every man, God's man' and it has been an insightful experience for me thus far. One thing that stuck me a lot and I would like to share this. It's a story by Kenny Luck, one of the co-author of the book.

When I became a Christian in 1982, I found it relatively easy to put together the appearance of a committed follower of Christ. My days as a navy brat and my adolescent focus on appearances had taught me how to build a new image. In my high-school yearbook, there is a picture of me holding a bear mug, wearing lampshade for a hat, and sporting a Groucho Marx nose-and-glasses disguise. The inscription underneath reads: Life of the Party - Kenny Luck. That was me, all right, but the caption should have read: Best Actor Award - Kenny Luck. You see, I was acting my buns off to get to the top 0f the 'Most Liked' list. I learned that if I could make people laugh, they would like me - at least for a little while.

I've since learned that all men are good at creating and building images. Our single-minded, task-oriented, emotionally compartmentalized, super-competitive, cause-and-effect, problem-solution handwriting makes is almost inescapable. We really believe ourselves when we say 'I can do that'. We find it easy to utilize the necessary appearances, props, equipment, accessories, and images so that we can project our act to the viewing audience.

Intuitive observation of how other Christians acted brought me the messages that I needed to read the Bible when I became a believer of Christ - and lots and lots of pages. Most importantly, I had to be able to quote it.

Besides reading a heavy concordance version of the Bible, I had to go to church a lot because that was where the action was and where 'good Christians' needed to be. Speaking of action, Christian service also was critical to the whole package. Evangelism and 'where you spend your vacation in the mission field' rated high on the charts in these circles.

I found the Christian fast track in no time. I became deeply involved with a Bible study group and joined an organisation whose mission statement included helping fulfill the Great Commission. It wasn't long before I decided to reach for the next level by attending Fuller Theological Seminary, and subsequent retreats and conferences drew me closer to going overseas to 'serve' God. I joined a mission agency full-time, married a beautiful Christian woman, connected with and befriended other Christian couples, and began raising three kids to follow in their dad's footsteps.

Well into my Christian fast track, however, certain character flaws and inner conflicts kept this question begging in my subconscious: Why aren't you changing for the better? I still had so many faults. In many areas of my life I saw little progress, which caused me to feel like the fool described in Proverbs: 'As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly' (Proverbs 26:11, NLT)

For most men - especially me - assembling an appearance comes naturally. It's much tougher, however, to put together a character that performs well under pressure. Sure, back in the summer of 1982, God forgave me, accepted me, and delivered me from an eternity separated from Him. But He did not deliver me from my character. The fatal mental mistake that I made back then - and that countless Christian men make today - was figuring that my conversion fundamentally changed my character traits (who I was and how I would react under pressure) at the same time that I accepted Christ into my life.

Once a man has given his life to Christ, God's aim is not to make him comfortable with the character and mannerisms that were ingrained into his psyche prior to becoming a member of the team. In fact, God's plan is for His Holy Spirit to bring about the necessary changes (although for stubborn characters and certain behaviour patterns, His method of choice is to allow delays and difficulties to enter our lives). Character is curved out rather than instantly created.

Take the story of Justin, who 'went Christian' to his friends' amazement. A lot was going on in his life, including an insatiable capacity for alcohol, which led to a room reservation at a rehab facility. Later, he and a friend drove from Arizona to California in a bold move that eventually led to Justin's conversion. The sense of a fresh start enthralled Justin almost as much as the emotional thrill of dropping in on Trestles Beach, where he loved to surf. No longer was he getting high on crack; now he was high on Christ. What could go wrong now? He had sobriety, a newfound hope in Christ, new friends, and a church based recovery program that would help him toe the line. Justin felt like a new man. He was married, had kids - life was pretty good.

Let's fast forward to one year later. Justin was still sober, but many of the attitudes, habits, and temptations that he had developed before he committed his life to Christ still hounded him. He thought that these flaws, along with his sins, had been washed away because now he could 'do all things through Christ who strengthened him'. Now Justin was disillusioned by his inability to overcome his temper with his wife and kids. His flaws reminded him of a bad cut that wouldn't heal.

Justin reminds me of myself. Like so many men I know, I often have unrealistic expectations when it comes to personal change. We would love a twofer or threefer - solving multiple problems and issues with one big decision. But God's deal goes like this: 'Reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground' (Hosea 10:12). To God, our lives are like fields that need to be worked. Once we have worked one field of change, we move on to the next plot, where He bids us to get back to work other character flaws by tilling weed-infested soil. Sometimes this takes more time than we'd like, but we have to keep driving that tractor back and forth across the fertile earth.

As history has shown, God will give a man a desert experience to prepare him for the future. Such a desert experience happened to my brother Chris. I'll never forget the late-night phone call from a frantic lady in Arizona, who screamed, 'Come get your brother off my porch'. In other words, she wanted him out of her life because my brother was a druggie and a drinker who changed girlfriends as often as he changed T-shirts.

Chris was a messed-up guy with big muscles and a small brain, or so we thought. My family had written him off as an unreachable jerk, his own worst enemy. When I received the phone call from Arizona, Chris was using and out of control, so I helped get him admitted to a Teen challenge program in Santa Cruz, California.

Then a miracle happened. After only two weeks Chris gave his life to Christ ... and the character curving began. One year later, Chris graduated from the program and joined the staff as an intern. Within two years he went to full time and was promoted to floor director and then to center supervisor. It wasn't long before Chris's leadership skills earned him a promotion to associate director and then to director of the center. He was helping hundreds upon hundreds of men turn their lives around.

Chris devoted five years to learning, listening, and serving others. Seeing the changes God has brought into his life, a Teen Challenge board member asked Chris to bring his talents to his small company. Chris accepted and rose through the ranks to chief operating officer in only four years. After the business was sold, he became a managing partner in a financial services company that bears his name. He is my living, breathing example of what God can do in carving out a man's character.

God hasn't changed His methods of His focus when it comes to accomplishing His purposes in the lives of men. Nor has he shown that He is any less concerned with our comfort than He is with our character. God understands that the conduct of a man will never outperform the content of His character, because conduct is an expression of character. One precedes the other. Or, viewed another way, if we want change, we need character to pull it off. God made us and knows us. He designed the mainframe, the software, and the applications.

I want to be a man who is authentic, a man who is real in my walk with God, a man who walks uprightly and stands firmly on the Word of God, a man who lives humbly and is willing to let God enter my life and changed it all the way around.

It's going to take time but it's worth it.

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